Unfortunately, being fatphobic has been so ingrained in our society that hurtful and fat-shaming statements towards fat people are commonplace. You often hear people complaining about how fat they’re going to be, or that they need to lose weight fast otherwise they’re not going to look good in an outfit anymore.
It’s degrading to fat people who sometimes have no choice in their body weight. Whether it’s genetics, medical conditions, financial capabilities, or other factors, we shouldn’t shame people for something that’s out of their control. We need to be more understanding towards them or at least accept them in society by not saying fat-shaming statements
We can start doing that by thinking of the words we speak. A lot of things we say are fatphobic and fat-shaming even if we don’t intend them to be, and below, we’ll be explaining how these statements can be misconstrued easily. Afterward, we offer alternative things to say instead that are more welcoming.
1. “I Feel So Fat.”
You might think that all you’re doing is insulting yourself, but if a fat person hears you say that? They’re going to feel bad about themselves because you think that having their body is a bad thing. They’re going to associate their body shape and size with negative feelings even when you hadn’t said a thing to them directly at all! It just shows us the impact of our words.
Instead of saying that, you should say, “I feel so bloated,” or “I ate way too much food.”
You should also address why you feel that way. Are you feeling insecure about your body? Do you think you’ve gained or lost weight and are feeling bad about it? Tackling how you feel will stop you from being mean to yourself and other people.
2. “You’re Not Fat, You’re Beautiful!”
Being fat and being beautiful aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s perfectly possible to be both! On top of that, being fat is objective—you can measure the amount of fat in your body and also your body mass index to know if you’ve got more fat than usual. However, being beautiful is subjective—beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so while you may not think you’re pretty, people out there do!
This does sound like a compliment, but we can’t deny there aren’t any negative implications. These fat-shaming statements imply that you can only be one or the other and that the minute you’re considered fat (by society’s standards) you stop being beautiful.
Instead, you should say, “You’re beautiful,” or “You’re gorgeous,” without bringing up their weight.
3. “You Look So Good After Losing Weight!”
Hearing this from a friend you haven’t seen in a while might seem amazing, but really, it’s a backhanded compliment at its best. Do they mean that you looked bad when you had all that weight on? Are you more interesting now that you look slimmer? Were you not much fun when you were still large? Saying such things implies that being slim is to be beautiful while being fat is to be worthless!
Really, the weight of the people around you is none of your business, especially when all they’re doing is existing, so it’s best not to comment on someone’s weight at all. Only talk about weight changes if the person you’re talking to brings it up.
4. “I’m Going to Cheat and Have Something Unhealthy.”
The diet industry loves to assign morals to food. Good food is associated with foods like fruits, vegetables, eggs, whole grains, and other foods that have health benefits. Meanwhile, bad food is associated with chips, cookies, candy, and other unhealthy foods that aren’t good for the body.
But what you may not realize is that assigning morals to food is deeply rooted in fatphobia. There is a reason why every stereotypical fat person is seen munching on unhealthy foods with crumbs all over their protruding bellies. There is a reason why snacking on chips or having a cheat day is seen as shameful. It’s because the diet industry and a good chunk of society consider slim people as good and fat people as bad. These are fat-shaming statements that attack food, not the person!
Instead, think of food as what it is—food. There’s nothing inherently good or bad about it. Just eat everything in moderation, and don’t regret what you eat. As long as the food you eat makes you happy, that’s what matters.
5. “This Outfit Doesn’t Make Me Look Good.”
Shopping is fun and all, but the way you talk about yourself and other people when trying on new clothes should be monitored. At the end of the day, your body is your body, and while you can camouflage some of it with clothes, your body shape will be fairly obvious under those clothes. So, when you say that this item doesn’t look good on you, what you’re really saying is that your body doesn’t look good because the item doesn’t hide how it looks.
You should love your body inside and out. It looks beautiful in its natural state—clothes only accentuate the beauty!
The next time you try clothes on, find something wrong with the clothes instead of your body. You can say, “I don’t like how this color looks on me,” or “This dress is too tight on certain areas.”
6. “I’m So Out of Shape.”
People say this all the time when they’re complaining about heading to the gym for the first time in a while or doing an activity that makes them out of breath. But saying this is highly problematic, as what does it mean to be in shape, anyway?
If you’ve ever watched the Olympics, you’ll notice that athletes there come in all shapes and sizes. Swimmers are lankier with broader shoulders, rhythmic gymnasts are extremely slim and toned, while weightlifters are bulky and tough. They are all the best in their fields, and yet their bodies all look different!
Basically, being healthy isn’t limited to just one shape. So, instead of saying you’re out of shape, you can say you’re not as fit as you used to be, or your muscles aren’t as strong as before.
7. “Once So-and-So is Addressed, the Weight Will Come Off.”
Weight gain is an unfortunate side effect of many stressors on our bodies. Sometimes, we gain weight as a result of physical conditions like broken bones, major surgeries, and illnesses that affect our body’s ability to process food and burn calories. We also gain weight due to stressful situations like fights in relationships or financial instability because of hormonal imbalances or lack of time to be physically active.
However, you shouldn’t think that by fixing your physical and mental health problems the weight will naturally fall back down. That’s not true at all, and that would only perpetuate the stereotype that slim people are physically and mentally sound while heavier people are not. You should think of all the problems you’re facing (weight gain included) as separate matters. Hoping to hit two birds with one stone will only end up in disappointment for you.
